vckystxx

[written on a dark and gloomy night, yesterday]

My internet is The down.

Even as I’m typing this in my WRITEROOM application (check it out, it’s really sweet), I keep sporadically hitting ‘escape’ to see if I have new mail or notifications. Which results in a gigantic letdown every five minutes because MY INTERNET IS DOWN THEREFORE NO NEW MAIL/NOTIFICATIONS.

I suddenly had a lot of free time to just – DO STUFF. So I painted my toenails three times-

… hang on. That in itself is a Big Deal. I only have 2 nail polish colors, so painting my toenails three times means I painted them PINK, then BLUE, then PINK. I think a large part of my brain has died and gone to chemical heaven.

I watched Napoleon Dynamite for the fourty thousandth time, and Nacho Libre for the fifty sixth time.

I reread Pride and Prejudice.

I drew one comic and four custom cards.

I wrote a song chronicling the excuses I give for the bruises on my knees. The song rhymes. It has three chords requiring three fingers at all times.

I timed myself to see if I could chug the same amount of WATER or GATORADE faster. (Water won by a few seconds, only because I wasn’t afraid of it leaking sexily out the side of my mouth. Gatorade was sticky).

And you know what else I did that was a BIG DEAL? I took a LONG SHOWER. I took a long shower and I used TOO MUCH VICTORIA SECRET BODY GLITTER SHOWER GEL. I made the whole house smell sickly artificial-strawberry-sweet, and my fingers got prune’y. But wow, I finally realized what the girls on the commercials mean when they look like they’re having so much fun LATHERING. I generated a mess of MASSIVE BUBBLES and I blew them off my palm and watched them stick to my shower window, and my whole body was GLITTERY for ten glorious minutes. WIN.

.. and I will leave you with these Deep Thoughts.

1. Sometimes it takes losing your internet, to realize what you were missing in the shower.
2. Should you be flattered if people don’t believe the bruises on your knees are from crawling around the stage at strip clubs?
3. Every girl is holding out for her Mister Darcy, and every backyard should have a Sprawling Moors.

4. Yellow Gatorade and it’s discontents.
- whilst drinking it, I inevitably get ‘yellow submarine’ stuck in my head.
- it looks like Vitamin C pee.
- it is Lemon Lime.
- it does not taste good.